Most of the time, I feel pangs of jealousy when I see a model, and at the same time think that models are unnaturally beautiful / strange looking aliens that we should not really strive to be… but this is another story. Still, however, I will not lie – I feel pride when I see an Asian model in a magazine or on a runway, especially one with a monolid (or, non double-eyelids). I read a blog post by a fellow Asian beauty blogger, and was discouraged to see that she was unhappy with her eyes, which is unfortunately how a majority of Asian women feel towards their eyelids. This makes me so upset and frustrated, because to think an eyelid wrinkle could have so much power on someone’s confidence about her appearance is unbelievable…a beauty culture that devalues a beautiful and racialized facial feature is one that needs to be challenged. I’m glad that this model is featured in many editorials and advertisements, staring straight at me with her beautiful mono-lidded eyes.
I went to Monterey with my boyfriend to celebrate my big 22- this view was the best birthday present I could ask for. I felt and still feel very thankful when I think about this day because it gives me clarity and calmness. Sometimes I think my world is spinning too fast and things are falling out of place. It’s like when I’m trying to settle into one of those annoying, one-legged yoga poses that requires you to balance but all you do is shake and topple over and look foolish. It was important for me to realize that the balance comes from finding a point to focus and place my mental anchor so that I can be graceful again. This view, the vastness of this beautiful, blue ocean, and the fresh air gives me this.