There’s a popular meme that says “it b like that sometimes” as a universal response to any life challenge, big or small, and I have found that it really do. A few weeks have passed since I’ve posted and it’s nice to be back here again, shooting and writing in my apartment, like how I used to.
The past month or so, I’ve been either consumed with career-related quandaries or emotional storms. I’ve given this stuff a lot of thought, and decided to share some of conclusions since I’m not the first nor last to be going through experiences like this.
Before I say anything else, I am grateful and fortunate to have a job which allows me to sustain the life I have here. But, I still believe we should seek to improve and optimize our work lives, to ensure that our projects, growth and paths are in alignment with our values, ambitions, and well-being. There are two parts – an honest assessment of work, currently and in the foreseeable future, and self exploration to determine what we want it to look like. If we imagine these two parts were circles in a Venn diagram, I’d also imagine those who have more overlap are those who are happier professionally, whereas those whose circles overlap little or not at all are the unhappiest.
If there is not as much overlap as we’d like, then it’s our responsibility and right to do something about it, and the first step is to speak up (which is hard, of course). If we express our desire and it’s not unreasonable, then it’s on the company to work with us on something better. Sometimes, there’s a solution and sometimes there’s not – it may take a very long time to figure out whether it’s one or the other. If there is a solution, great, our two circles overlap more, which is professional happiness!
If there is no solution, we weigh the options carefully and replace the other circle. Life is too short to be professionally unhappy, especially when we spend the majority of our lives at work. That is my personal opinion. I’ve heard differing opinions, like several years of misalignment isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things, better to wait for things to improve. Or, you’re not ready. Or, you haven’t tried hard enough. I’ve held these opinions in my head and realized I disagree.
At the end of the day, please realize your own power. You are the only one who draws that Venn diagram. I have just updated mine, and I’m very excited about a new professional chapter in my life. I will be sharing with you when the time is right.
As for quelling emotional storms… the crazy thing is that I have the best mental and emotional health habits / routines directly following emotional trauma. Usually, it means I refocus my time doing the things that make me happier or productive, like writing, reading, playing music, going dancing. I’ve gotten my feelings hurt repeatedly over the past few months (lol, am I the only one out here?), but not enough to classify as a traumatic disturbance. So, I’ve been less diligent and mindful about how to live in a way that supports my inner peace, happiness and health.
I’m reading this cool book called You Are Not A Rock by Mark Freeman, and the basic message is to stop doing things a rock could do better than you, including trying to be super chill / not anxious / not experiencing emotions, and instead, doing things that make you a better version of yourself even if it makes you uncomfortable.
Recently I’ve forgotten that I’m actually a strong, resilient, capable person and I shouldn’t live my life trying to avoid stressful situations; instead, I can choose the challenging experience if it will help me grow. Be kind, be soft when you speak to yourself, but don’t forget your strength.
Also, I always get requests for recommendations on skincare and make up when I take a good picture, but the secret is that it just comes to lighting 😉
If you must know, I’m wearing bareMinerals Barepro Longwear Liquid Foundation in Warm Natural, NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer in Custard, Too Faced Chocolate Soleil Bronzer, NARS blush from Narcissist Palette, NARS Dual Intensity Blush in Jubilation for highlighter, Anastasia Brow Pencil, EVER Whiplash Mascara, Bite Beauty Matte Lip Crayon in Glace, and bareMinerals Gen Nude Buttercream Lipgloss in Fly.
Hope you all have a FAB week ahead!