UGH NO. This week was sad, man… Chester Bennington, the lead singer of Linkin Park, died by suicide. I’ve sung along to enough of his songs and watched enough of his interviews to know that he had always been a sensitive soul who oscillated between feeling mentally well and battling demons like depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction. RIP 😦
I’m sad about this loss because he had spoken so truthfully about his experiences in interviews, and encouraged people who suffer to be honest, to start real conversation and connection about their own difficulties. I relate so much to those words. I wish that were enough for him (and many others) to make it through the last valley.
Still, I stand behind this invitation to be open and vulnerable (like Brene Brown said!) because I think it connects us as human beings. It’s awkward and scary at first, but sharing the more tender or shameful or darker parts of myself with the people around me has resulted in the return in gesture. I’ve found that they feel more okay with sharing their experiences with me, they reach out to me when they need someone to talk to. When I realize that others go through the same kind of emotions that I do, I feel less alone and abnormal. I feel safer, which is the opposite of what you’d think being vulnerable should make you feel.
Nurturing these meaningful connections is very important to me. I’ve cultivated some very deep and supportive friendships that are built on this foundation of safe vulnerability. I am grateful to have friends who are so open, supportive and who make it easy to to go beyond the small talk. They’re also great guides towards the light when I’m feeling a little lost or overwhelmed.
Practicing this vulnerability is something I also have tried to do in my blog as it has evolved. I’ve just had more to say about feelings than lipgloss, and that has become pretty clear to me in the last year or so. I’m inspired to write content that’s more personal, that talks about my own experiences, obstacles, learnings and feelings.
I think that everyone has a rich emotional life, goes through their own challenges but we have more in common than in difference, and there’s always a way to connect if you get beneath the surface level. I hope that by continuing to write about my own stuff, you can find something relatable or comforting, and that we can connect if I do it right.