Friends – this week I want to remind you, in the least cheesy way that I can, to think about your definition of ‘pretty’ and, if it doesn’t include your inherent beauty, to question and revise it. I could write forever about this topic because it’s so complex… beauty can be objective and subjective, at the same time.
A few months ago, I got to be part of a music video – BUCKET LIST ALERT, unfortunately no twerking involved- for a song with a message that I value: “What’s Your Definition of Pretty?” by Kat Robichaud. There were people from all walks of life at this shoot, and along with lip syncing to her tune, Kat asked us to define “pretty” in front of the camera. If you watch the video, you’ll see that my definition was included (I am second!).
I believe beauty can be generally captured into two buckets, both of which can change and affect each other. There’s physical attractiveness, which is more easily objectified, measured, and fixed; and there’s the inner stuff, which includes personality, attitude, intelligence, etc. I believe that someone is most beautiful when both intersect in a place that makes the person feel happy and healthy.
What some of this song touches on, and what I’ve experienced, is a pressure to adhere to objective beauty standards, and the unhappiness that comes from not quite making the mark. I won’t sit here and tell you that looks don’t matter – experience and research tells us that it does. But, it’s a mistake to buy into the importance of objective beauty too much, because the other stuff matters a great deal, and the other stuff you have more control over.
Don’t believe me? Let me ask you this: have you ever met a 7/10 who transformed into a 9/10 over the course of an engaging conversation? Or, a 10/10 demoted to a 5/10 because she wasn’t too sharp, or kind, or humble?
I also love the amount of individual variance of what we find beautiful – hence the phrase, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. My friends and I were talking about boys (what else) and I was surprised that we had such different ideas of what we found attractive. It made me think that there’s something for everyone.
So going back to beauty and understanding that it can be so multifaceted and subjective, what’s your definition of pretty? Do you believe that you have inherent beauty that will wax and wane, be experienced by different people in different ways?
Stay happy, healthy and pretty AF.